If i have to have brain surgery: things that concern me, volume 1.

I engage in some strange conversations some times. They can be very morbid, or just inappropriate and are often "what ifs". how would i handle something.
 And my responses are usually misunderstood or completely out of left field.

Here's what i think about when i think about having brain surgery:

*maybe the scar will be gnarly. that would be awesome.
*i am sure the aftercare will be a bitch. how do you keep  hair out of it? mine isn't long enough for pig tails.
*maybe i will lose weight. i'm into that.
*i think i will only be scared before for like a little. i mean, like dying scared.
*i don't want to tell people that will feel a need to contact me. i mean, if we're not speaking regularly then please don't send me well wishes.

my biggest worry over this is the aftercare. not the stitches and stuff, the not moving your neck. the "i'm at home and counting on someone else to handle EVERYTHING for 6 weeks."  counting on someone else to

buy the groceries, cook, clean, run the bath, do the dishes, vacuum, do the laundry, put up clothes.

more than chores though:
wash my hair for me, dress me, bring me the remote, turn the lights off/on, adjust the pillows.
change the DVDs, bring me the phone, go to the store for a treat, rub my feet, charge my phone, adjust the temperature.

basically, everything. for at least a few weeks. i won't be able to lift anything. or turn my head. i won't want to move like at all. and i don't really see people lining up for that.

so there's the things that people have to do FOR me. but i'm also concerned about the things they will NOT get to do.

i won't be coming to your house. i won't be talking on the phone. i won't be doing the things you're used to from me.

basically, my i am terrified of my husband not taking this well. making it about him and the things he has to do now and the things he's not getting. he will have more chores and no sex. of any kind. i can't help him find his keys, find his clothes. have the food he wants magically appear in the fridge. get him directions. he wants so much and is used to so much from me. and i won't be able to do that.

thats it. i'm scared of him getting angry over the things he's not gonna get. not really the things he won't do for me.

i also don't want to shave more of my hair than i need to.